Not everyone comes to counselling feeling confident.
Sometimes you turn up feeling tired, frazzled, or unsure where to begin.
Many of my clients turn up to sessions in all kind of ways.
Maybe you feel like you’re just about holding on, or worry that what you’re bringing isn’t ‘bad enough’.
This post is for you, for anyone thinking about counselling and wondering how to get the most out of it.
When you feel like you should be coping better, anxiety can feel even harder
Sometimes my clients tell me they’ve been thinking about coming to counselling for a while, but didn’t feel their difficulties were ‘bad enough’. Often, they’re comparing themselves to others and telling themselves things like, ‘I should be able to handle this‘ or ‘it’s not really that bad.‘
Speaking to ourselves in this way can leave us feeling more alone, ashamed, and worn down. It can make anxiety feel heavier.
Many people also appear to be coping well on the outside. They continue working, caring for others, and getting on with life, so those around them may not realise how much effort it takes just to get through the day. Feeling constantly wired or on edge can be invisible to others, which can feel deeply isolating.
You don’t have to reach a breaking point to deserve support. Therapy can offer a space where what you’re carrying is seen, understood, and taken seriously.
Tips for making the most of your sessions
Making the most of counselling isn’t about having straightforward answers or knowing exactly what words to say. It’s about giving yourself space to explore what’s really there, even when it feels messy.
It can sound very simple but turning up on time can help you make the most of the space. Your counselling slot is for you only and it’s self care to claim the space that is yours.
If you feel unsure about the process of sessions or the pace, it’s absolutely ok to say this, even if it might feel a bit uncomfortable. Asking questions can clarify that you and your counsellor are on the same page, and if you’re not this can be really useful to explore together.
Some people like to use a journal between sessions, and some don’t. There really is not right or wrong, just what works for you.
When you’ve spent ages trying to manage on your own, worrying about the cost, not sure if you’ll know what to talk about or if you need to have the right words beforehand, of course starting counselling can feel huge. You’re not doing it ‘wrong’- you’re human and this is normal. It’s normal to feel unsure when you’re starting something new.
A gentle reminder
Struggling with anxiety doesn’t make you weak.
You’re allowed to feel it all.
You’re not expected to walk into counselling knowing how it all works.
An Invitation
You don’t have to wait until things get harder before you reach out. Support is available when you’re ready.
Counselling for anxiety – a final thought
If you’re struggling with anxiety and you’re considering counselling, it’s understandable that you’d want it to feel helpful. Having a space to explore what’s going on for you at your own pace can make a real difference.
You don’t need to prepare perfectly or know exactly what to say. Showing up as you are is enough.
If you’d like to explore whether counselling could help, you’re welcome to get in touch.